7 weeks til I'm HOME!

Happy Sunday.  I bought a lot of music on Itunes this week!  I can't keep my Shuffle out of my ears.  I bought a lot of quiet music and Christian Worship songs.  I am posting pictures.  I have also been writing more and I will share stuff as it comes together. Hopefully it won't be all dark and twisty! Speaking of dark and twisty, Grey's is back on and thank God for internet broadcast!  Anywho, this is me in my PT (physical training) uniform on my way to dinner.

This is the hallway that I live in, er, well, that the doorway to my room is in.  This is where me and my classmates dart passed each other all of the time.  A lot of yelling goes on here.

This is Maz and Barney.  They live across the hall from me.  That was my room for 4 weeks.  Barney is a College Option (we came to the Army to be officers straight out of college) like me and Maz is prior service.  He was the Special Forces Green Beret. That makes him cool.

This is the cold stairwell I spoke of.

This is where we get our overcooked eggs and other gross meals.

Gross meals.  Ewe.  And the menu never changes.

This is Worede and Fuentes eating.  This is, of course, where we eat.  We were all still on weekend pass when this picture was taken so they aren't in uniform and we were all relaxed.

This is my meal.  I do, however, drink a lot of chocolate milk.  That is good.  And sometimes there is pecan pie.  It is a well know favorite of mine.  When other people see it before I do they point it out to me!

This is where I live, in the building on the right.  Up past the lil bushes there is a basketball court.  That is where I roll around on rocks.  Not so much fun.  
So that is exiting.  My life, in pictures.  You know, maybe you wanted a visual to my sad post.  I am happier today which is good.  Over 8 months with no friends and family is a tough thing to do.  I will keep takin pictures and I will post again soon.

I love and miss you.

Goodnight Moon

9.17.08

My feet hurt.  We did a 7 mile ruck march this morning.  It completely sucked.  "Don't run", "Catch up", "Don't fall out".  Those marches give me too much time to think.  

Miss.  Want.  Long for.  Pine for.  Lack.  Feel the loss of.  Feel the absence of.  Yearn for.  Crave. Ache. Wish. Covet.

I miss home.  I miss what I failed to notice while I was there.  Now I wake up to a cold white room.  I share a cold, smelly bathroom with uncleanly girls.  I have no privacy.  A hundred people see my in my sleepy state.  I stumble down a hard, dirty stairwell to roll around on rocky pavement.  I get yelled at while I run alongside dripping, sweaty people.  There is no food, no coffee.  

At breakfast I rush through a food line, I eat hard biscuits and overcooked eggs.  If I have time, I shower after my overstuffed but underfed run to the barracks.  My hair stays wet.  My face stays plain.  There is little to no time to care for myself.  I run my hand over my bed to make the covers look like I made it well after I slept under it, although a comfort like that is far from the truth.  I lock my lockers taking one last peek into my personal shelves, filled with the remnants of my life.  My gun-metal grey Tano bag, a staple for every girl from Fayetteville, Ar.  My balls of yarn attached to the projects that bring me one step closer to calmness when I can sneak them into my day.  My iphone, my mac book, the devices that connect me to home, that give me a personality.  A small bag of make-up.  I can't wear it, but it's there for a Saturday.  I also have a pink quilt and a stuffed dog that I've cuddled with since I was 12.  I close the locker yearning for the moment that I get to open it again.  I'll get to search my computer for people I knew and for pictures of the places that I love.  My days are spent surrounded by people that I barely know, most that I never want to know.  The others, the few others, are my friends of the moment.  People that I will never become close to or hug, but they get me through the moment as I hope I do for them.

In the evenings I squeeze in tightly controlled moments of personal time.  If I have time to take a shower that takes more than three minutes, I don't do it.  It takes away from a few extra minutes on the phone or on instant messenger.  I squeeze in a listen to a song or two but it is usually interrupted by people asking questions about the next day, or the next test.  

When I go to sleep at night, I wonder where the free time of the day went and I dread the lights coming on in the morning.  The same routine.  The same boring race on my little wheel that goes nowhere.

I wonder how long it will take me to calm down, to loosen up.  On the weekends, I try to hide out, to act normal.  I'm not supposed to be alone so I hide behind my Arkansas hat, mascara, and a smile.  The smile is now rare enough that it might throw someone who thinks that they recognize me off.  I talk to cashiers and waitresses, the occasional Starbucks employee.  I leave my military I.D. card in my car and I do my best to hide that aspect of my life.  I don't tell people where I live or what I do.  When I'm in Target, I pretend that I'm back home.

It feels like the slow days of walking to class are completely gone.  Eating a small, nice dinner and watching Grey's Anatomy, gone.  Maybe some wine, maybe some tea.  Gone are the days that I get to watch the wind blow by, leaves crunching under my feet.  Coffee, that's a luxury that people in the movies get to grab on their way to work.  Curling irons, blush, nail polish and high heels, for the magazines.  Happy Hour, that's the time from 7-8 when you actually don't get called out of your room to get information on the next day.  Late nights, they aren't allowed.  Early mornings are many, too many.  Black mold, stuffy noses and dark eyes are plenty.  Blisters are common.  It's a sunburned country here.

February March April May June July August September.....

I went to Fort Benning

I know I need to blog about knitting, but I left my camera with all my pictures in my locker.  :( oops.  But anyway I wanted to show some curious people a little bit about what I am up to now.

This is where I sleep.  To the right is my locker, which I live out of, and where my camera is!

This is an outside shot of where I live.  These are the Army's Airborne jump towers.  Across the field are cream buildings...that's where you can find me.  

Ok, I know this post was short and I promise to remember my camera tomorrow, and I will also post more about my life in the Army and about finding time to knit.  I miss you all!

Summer Knitting Olympics

I know that it has been  a while, a very long while.  I have been busy playing soldier, but I have finally found time to knit.  I have chosen a project for the Ravelry Summer Olympics but I not chosen a yarn color.  

Project   ::   Child's First Sock Shell Pattern from Knitting Vintage Socks

Yarn       ::   Shibui Knits Sock Yarn (color???)

needles  ::   size 0 or 1, haven't decided

I can not decide between the following colors.

This is what the socks look like! Wish my luck and luck to you!

Finding My Way Back Home

On Feb 5th I left Arkansas for Army Basic Training at Ft. Jackson, SC.  After 10 weeks of that craziness, I graduated Basic on April 25th.  I reported to Officer Candidate School on April 26th at Ft. Benning, GA.  I started OCS on May 11.  I was supposed to graduate OCS on July 31.  Instead, I will re-class for OCS on August 25th with the company that I started with, Alpha Company.  I will graduate on November 13th.  I posted some pictures of Basic Training graduation and one of OCS (me and a guy in a funny green outfit!).  I will try to keep everyone more updated with what goes on if my daily life from now on, but it'll be crazy, because the Army is crazy!

This is a picture of an old helicopter that is being restored by some museum curators from Atlanta.  I got to help move the blades.

This is where I sleep until August 25th.  I share a bay with around 16 girls.
This is Jennifer Cubero.  She was my bunk mate in Basic Training.  We flew from Oklahoma together to Basic together.
This is a picture of the back of a 5 ton truck that I was riding in.  We were taking all the dirty sheets from Echo Company to get clean ones.

This is Jarod Carpenter on his OCS graduation day!
This is a picture of my final formation in Basic Training.
I had to include a picture with a Drill Sergeant in it!
This is me in basic phase of OCS.  We get to wear those funny ascots!

Last-Mintue Patchwork + Quilted Gifts Visited

Last Minute Patchwork + Quilted Gifts

I bought the book Last Minute Patchwork + Quilted Gifts yesterday. Right after I went to Hobby Lobby and pick fabric for a center panel for the (Not So) Crazy Quilt. I picked 7 colors and they all looked good in a pile together.

Now that the panel is made (super easy) I don't like the colors together.

I think it is too manly so I put it on top of this pink (that looks peachy here). I am going to try and save my project with good craftsmanship.